Did you know your kid can dress up as an influencer for Halloween?
There’s an actual costume pack in the world titled “influencer starter kit” because influencers are so ingrained in popular culture. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, an influencer, as in influencer marketing, is a form of marketing that enables businesses to collaborate with individuals who have a following for increased brand exposure.
Outside of marketing, influencers are individuals with their mouths to the people’s ears. They get folks to buy into a set cause or goal. Your middle schooler probably knows a few influencers like Mari Copeny, aka “Little Miss Flint,” Ryans World, and Gamer Girl. While arguably not as glamorous, parenting is a form of influencing children encounter every day firsthand. Consider the underestimated impact parenting has on their middle schoolers.
Influencing with Words
We’ve heard it before: words have power. Think how leaders through the centuries have moved people to action by words alone— Jesus, Gandhi, Sojourner Truth, Martin Luther King, Oprah, Barack Obama, and current presidential elects all wielded the power of words to achieve a desired outcome from those who believed in (or opposed) their message. As a parent, you possess the same power and influence over your middle schooler on the stage that is your home.
It’s crucial to note how our words affect children, especially our own. Middle school children are navigating a very impressionable age. What you say and how you speak to them matters.
Granted, you’ve probably noticed that your middle schooler or teenager doesn’t like talking to you as much these days. We imagine you’ve seen their faces light up when they encounter their friends versus their eyes glazing over when interacting with you.
LET. THEM. GLAZE.
Remember, the point of marketing professionals using influencers is to increase exposure for their particular brands. In essence, influencers help keep a business’s products and services top of mind. Parents should be at the forefront of middle schoolers’ minds as the guiding force in their lives.
Words stick in people’s minds. So even if your middle schooler is slow to respond, is easily upset, or ignores you altogether, trust that your words of encouragement, reprimand, or assurance are playing in their heads (somewhere).
Consistently tell them things like:
- “I’m proud of you.”
- “I see you trying.”
- “I know you’re doing your best.”
- “You’re getting really good at that!”
- Thanks for your help. I appreciate it.”
- “I love you.”
Your words matter to middle schoolers because they help influence perceptions of themselves and their world. So keep talking. Keep trying to communicate with your middle schoolers, regardless of whether they’re being sweet and helpful one day and a snarky little monster the next.
Influencing Middle Schoolers Through Actions (or inaction)
The adage “do what I say, not as I do” was undoubtedly spoken with the best intentions, yet it’s completely unrealistic. From the beginning, people, not just children, have acted out what they’ve seen done before them.
For example, a parent suffering from substance abuse but is telling their kids not to use them likely won’t get their wish. Natural curiosity about what the child regularly sees mommy or daddy participating in has a high probability of winning.
Middle schoolers are inclined to exhibit the same behaviors they see modeled at home through their parents or guardians. Parental behaviors and habits influence their conduct in the wider world. Children who experience a helpful, loving home atmosphere are likelier to display the same characteristics at school and with friends. Contrarily, middle schoolers who endure harsh criticism and poor communication at home may do the same with peers.
Due to parental actions weighing so heavily on how kids shape up to be, it’s in parents’ best interest to be mindful of stressors or the triggers that cause them to act out in unhealthy ways. Parenting in an unhealthy mental, physical, and spiritual state impacts your ability to be a positive influence in your child’s life. Barry Winbolt, psychologist, coach, and therapist, said parents can “learn how to process emotions with confidence (instead of resist, react or avoid). Anytime you lose control, yell, or argue with someone, you’re showing your children this is how people react when times get tough.”
Regulating your emotions will help you parent from a clearer head. But the perfect parent doesn’t exist either, so apologize when you lose your cool. Setting the tone for taking responsibility for your actions is an invaluable lesson for middle schoolers to grasp.
They want to make you proud.
Your kid wants the “good job” sticker from you. Regardless of if they’re showing it right now, your kid wants to make you proud. They want to know you think they’re doing a good job. No child wants to disappoint the person or people they love most. And you never want to hear phrases such as “Aren’t you proud of me?” or “I’d thought you’d be happy if I…” coming from their mouths.
Parents can give kids their best chance, increasing a probable, healthy trajectory, by making parental decisions that provoke growth and help them become the best versions of themselves.
A parent’s influencer role doesn’t pay off in free products or guest appearances on reality shows. The reward for your lifetime investment is a well-rounded child—a pretty good “trophy” if we say so ourselves. As you continue your parenting journey, remember you’re the first and most impactful teacher your kid(s) will ever know.
For more parental tips and guidance, visit the Parent Zone.
