Yes, you are super—a super mom, dad, a hero even, but you’re human first. Before kid(s), you had an entire life they were not a part of. You hung out with friends they didn’t know, did things you hope they never hear about and had dreams of your own to pursue. You weren’t always a parent but you’ve always been you, an individual with a soul, likes, goals, quirks, and aspirations.
Sometimes We Forget
The thing about becoming a parent is sometimes we forget what life was like before kids. It’s understandable. We pour the best of everything we have into our kids, hoping they’ll develop into the best versions of themselves; that’s parenting, that’s the job. But if parents continue pouring all they have into their children without replenishing themselves, they’ll soon be empty.
It’s time to reclaim your identity as a person, independent of your parent status, by seeking empowerment opportunities for personal growth.
First Step
“Assessing who you are as a person now that you’re a parent is perhaps the most important step to empowering yourself,” says Well Being writer, Amy Taylor-Kabbaz.
You may not realize this, but you’re not the same person you were before becoming a parent. In addition to bodily changes for moms after pregnancy, stress levels, finances, relationships and social life are among the many aspects affected after starting a family. The world you were a part of before is not the world you and your kids inhabit now.
In fact, if you simply “cope” with parenting and the enormous demands it makes on your life, you’re at a very real risk of a meltdown somewhere down the track. Needless to say, if this happens, you won’t be in suitable to care for children, yet alone yourself.
But if you embrace the joys and challenges of parenthood, you can discover ample opportunities to be a better parent and person.
Barry Winbolt, psychologist, coach, and therapist, insists the bottom line of parenting isn’t about the kids— it’s about personal development.
Working Toward Your Best Self
You can work toward personal development (becoming a better version of yourself) through techniques, mindset shifts, and resources.
Here are a few ideas for each one:
Personal Development Techniques
Write a gratitude journal
The more we learn to appreciate our lives, in all it’s big and little moments, the easier it becomes.
Carve out alone time
It may be more challenging if you’re a parent of young children, but it can be done with the right amount of intention.
Schedule time with friends and family
These are your favorite people! Make an effort to be with and around the folks that remind you to be yourself.
Spend a little money on yourself
Go ahead, treat yourself! You deserve it.
Take a break from electronics
Pressing pause on the electronics helps you be more present with yourself and your family.
See the complete list of self-improvement techniques here
Mindset Shifts for Empowered Parents
Write affirmations
Write down positive words and phrases that energize your spirit. Use your own words or borrow some from your favorite quotes to light a fire in your belly.
Change your vocabulary
Practice saying “I can” instead of “I can’t.”
Replace “I’ll do this tomorrow with “Why wait until will when I can do it today.”
Swap “I’m not good enough” with “I am enough or “Yes, I am capable”.
Do the opposite
If you default to back down and take the easy route, switch things up by making a bold decision or vice versa and evaluate the outcome.
Personal Development Resources for Parents
Need some all-around good parenting tips? Try these sites.
We want you to feel empowered in your personal growth as a parent. Being as good to yourself as you are to your kids is okay. A well-adjusted parent is the best gift a child can receive.
More support tips are available in the Parent Zone!
